AMERICA! My favorite things...

Well, I've been back in the U.S. for about a week.  The transition is a bit hard at times and I haven't had energy to do much besides unpack and re-learn English :)  My major event has been adding an iPhone 4 to my life - my parents gave it to me as a welcome home gift.  And as I learn how to use it, I've been taking photos using the built-in camera, capturing a few of the things that I'm happiest to see back here in the U.S.A.  Here is a photo gallery of a few of "my favorite things."

Pedicures! To take care of my callused mistreated feet!

Sushi! (I don't eat meat, but I love fish!)

Sugar-free gum - an American jumbo pack with 35 pieces! They must have been thinking of me...

Washing machine.  Wow, just a simple push of the button wipes away hours of toil at a washboard.

Clean, drinkable tap water that doesn't contain parasites or bacteria

Family cat #1

Family cat #2 Both are flea-free and snuggly!

Apples!

Kombucha.  I think I missed this beverage the most (well, after red wine)

Moutains and cool weather for wearing jackets and not constantly sweating!

Our family dog, Layla

My parents!

Take me on a hike, Penny!

Adios Nicaragua

Where were you when President Obama was sworn-in in January 2009? I was in Miami, Florida watching it on TV, enjoying my last day in the U.S. I was preparing to leave to begin my Peace Corps service as a community health volunteer the next day.

After 27 months living in this hemisphere’s second poorest country, I have completed my service and am now officially a Returned Peace Corps Volunteer (RPCV).

I have learned a few things and changed a few pre-conceived notions about the world, about development and about myself. Here are a few things that I’ve recently been reflecting on as I prepare to leave Nicaragua next week to return to the U.S.:

I will never throw anything away before first thinking of how I could re-use it or give it to another person. Nothing should ever be wasted!

Development work is not as simple as I once thought

As much as we try in the developed world to be “green” and save the environment, our lifestyles are not sustainable and for all the little changes we make (using energy efficient light bulbs, using less plastic grocery bags, etc.) it makes just a small dent in the overall picture of our carbon footprint

Peace Corps isn’t perfect – but neither is the UN, Save the Children, UNICEF, the IMF or the World Bank (living here I’ve seen firsthand many of the programs these organizations implement and have realized their respective strengths and flaws). Peace Corps is just another tool to help increase diplomacy, communication and if development increases along the way, so be it
There are certain things that I will miss, and others that I cannot wait to get away from. Let’s start with the negative first and end on a positive note.  You’ll notice the latter list outnumbers the former.

Things I will NOT miss:

Rainy season – being wet and moldy all the time

Dry season – being dry, dusty and allergic all the time

Catcalls and verbal harassment on the street

Living alone and feeling vulnerable

Hours and hours spent on hot, sweaty, dusty and noisy chicken buses

Horrible customer service

Barking dogs and crowing roosters at night keeping me awake

The lack of separation of politics and education, health and other social and government services

Coffee so sweet you can feel cavities forming and food so salty, your mouth dries up eating it

Weekly comments by friends and neighbors on how “fat” or “skinny” you look that day (they are never even accurate)

Seeing heart-breaking poverty all around you – in rural villages and in the largest cities

Things I will miss about Nicaragua:

Bathing in my outdoor shower being able to see the birds and sun

Washing clothes by hand (it’s enjoyable to a certain extent)

Warm weather

Close friends I have made here and their open hearts and hospitable spirits

Vibrant Latin music and dancing. Everyone from babies to the elderly knows how to shake it to the latest reggaeton song or the most classic ballad or salsa song

The freedom I have in my work here. Also, the more relaxed pace of work and life in general

Seeing people who are so poor, yet so happy and giving

Kids dressed in school uniforms walking past my house at 6:45 am every day on their way to class, telling me it’s time to start a new day

Red beans and corn tortillas

Being able to really “eat locally”

Being within a day’s travel to a gorgeous Pacific beach

Brightly colored houses (my own hot pink house especially)

The camaraderie and closeness I feel with other Peace Corps volunteers –especially those in my group “Nica 49”

Nica 49 at our "Close of Service Conference" with our two Nicaraguan supervisors

Hammocks

The clip-clop sound of horse hooves on the cobblestone street outside my house

My site-mate Kristen

Kristen and me

“Visiting” people being a day-long activity

Fresh fruit – mangos, watermelon, pineapple, coconut and dragon fruit especially

Feeling powerful and capable because of my role as a Peace Corps volunteer. I feel confident calling a meeting of older leaders, parents, teachers, health center staff, and youth because I know they will respect me and listen to what I have to say both because I am from the U.S. and a Peace Corps volunteer

The hospitality of village people and their willingness to let you into their lives and homes

The black/white nature of male/female relationships here. You will know if a guy likes you or not right away. It will be made apparent when you first meet him by a whistle, cat call or sexist comment. No beating around the bush here!

I will never take for granted again the following things:

Indoor plumbing

Tap water that doesn’t make you sick

Customer service and efficiency in businesses

Quality clothing and shoes

Hot showers and bathtubs

Ubiquitous wireless internet

Having a car at your disposal

Washing machine/dryer

Couches

Vacuum cleaners


As I prepare to return to the U.S., I am finding myself feeling a little ambivalent about it all; sort of without emotions. I’m not excited to leave, but I’m also definitely ready to go. I do feel that my time here has been sufficient and I am ready to move on to the next step, whatever that may be. I plan to move back to Alaska to work for a time before possibly beginning graduate studies next year in international relations somewhere on the east coast. My life feels very up-in-the-air at the moment, and this surprises me. When I started Peace Corps I thought that by the end of these two years, I would “have it all figured out.” I would know what I wanted to study in graduate school and I would feel more mature and have finalized my “life plan” (whatever that is…). However, this of course is not the case. These two years have gone by faster than any other period in my life, and I find myself asking just as many questions today as I did when I began Peace Corps in 2009, perhaps even more questions, and more complicated ones.

My body and my spirit are tired though. I’m ready to go back to the U.S. for a bit to recuperate before I will be ready to think about what comes next. After being sick with some intestinal parasite or bacteria every 1-2 months here, I am physically exhausted and ready to feel healthy and energetic again. I am also emotionally worn out. I have worked so hard here to learn the culture, learn how to work with the Ministry of Health, troubleshoot problems that arose, deal with failed projects, strategize how to implement successful ones, and deal with the daily stresses of life in a third world country – all of this alone.

I am proud of myself for sticking it out until the end, through some very tough times. Of my group of 21 volunteers who entered the country, 13 of us finished our service completely. These are pretty normal Peace Corps statistics. It has been an emotional and physical rollercoaster – Peace Corps is definitely not for everyone, and that doesn’t mean that volunteers that complete all their service are superior to others, it just means we’re more stubborn perhaps :)


At our end of service presentation with our supervisor (far left) and the Peace Corps country director (second from left)

On my last day in-site, it was very odd to see my pink house empty of all my possessions. I will definetly miss the $45/month rent, but I am looking forward to indoor plumbing again! I sold most of my furniture and household items to the new volunteer replacing me in my site – in one pick-up truck load, my entire Nicaraguan life was moved out! Saying goodbyes in site was a tearful but necessary evil and I had a hard time saying adios to dear friends such as Mariana and her family who have supported me through my toughest times (my robbery) and celebrated happy ones (our joint birthdays in June) with me like I was part of their family. It is so hard saying goodbye to people when you don’t know when you’ll see them again. I probably won’t return to visit Nicaragua for at least 3-4 years.


My last meal in-site at Mariana's house.  Plantain, beans and cheese.

 

Ready to go!



Ringing the bell at the Peace Corps office - a tradition for all volunteers who end their two years



Who hoo!

 Some people I do know I will see soon are three of my good girlfriends from my Peace Corps group “Nica 49” that are coming to visit me in Alaska in May for two weeks! I am excited to host visitors and share Alaska with them. We are already looking forward to this reunion and I know it will help us all go through the re-adjustment process to the U.S.

I’m ready for some rest and relaxation in the States – luckily my parents and I will be visiting Orlando, Florida for five days when I return. Although I’m not sure if Orlando is the place one goes for r&r, or if it will just rudely shock me back into American culture. Either way, I’m looking forward to visiting the Wizarding World of Harry Potter and drinking a butterbeer! I am also looking forward to buying an iPhone, drinking a Kombucha tea and seeing my nieces (and they will happen in that order as well). I will be traveling visiting family in Oregon and then going to my sister’s graduation in California in May.

I’m not going to become complacent however. I know that after a few weeks, I’ll be ready for the next adventure!

World Map Mural

All over the world, Peace Corps volunteers have painted thousands of world map murals in schools, parks, city buildings, community centers, sports centers, health centers and hospitals. The first world map was done by a Peace Corps volunteer named Barbara in the Dominican Republic in 1989. Since then, a “world map kit” has been created and distributed to all Peace Corps countries with detailed step-by-step instructions on how to create this beautiful and educational mural. You can read about the project here.

The other Peace Corps volunteer who lives in my community (my ¨site-mate¨) Kristen and I decided to paint a world map mural in a rural school outside of our village. My parents graciously decided to give us the funding for the paint, brushes and other supplies. Kristen and I had both worked in that school in the past giving classes and knew the Director, teachers and students well. When we brought up the idea of a world map project, they were excited and ready to support the activity. We decided to use an empty wall on the side of one of the main class buildings. It would be seen by the school children and also by people walking by the school.

What we thought would be a relatively quick project (a few weeks at most), ended up taking us 10 months from start to finish due to rainy season, summer vacation, and the conflicting work schedules of Kristen and me. The map was further complicated by the fact that we had to take a “chicken bus” out to the community ever time we worked on it, taking up practically an entire day. However, we pushed through. We were determined to have something tangible come out of our Peace Corps service, and I think we just wanted to see if we could actually do it!

Here is our map project, step-by-step:

Step one: Wash the wall.  Have a carpenter (or otherwise skilled person at measuring) mark out the 6x12 foot space on the wall. This took one day, and required us to coordinate with the carpenter and pay his bus fare and for his labor that day.

Washing the wall

Don Enrique measuring

Step two: We painted the rectangle a light blue (ocean) background color. We did two coats (two separate days of painting).

Painting the background

Step three: Have the carpenter return to mark out the grid system on the map. The Peace Corps world map kit uses a grid system to transfer a relatively small map image onto a larger surface. We made 1,568 blocks (28 rows x 56 rows) in pencil.

Step four: Draw the map! We used pencils and the map guide to draw each individual square. This tedious task was made easier by many hands and eager kids.

Drawing countries

It´s done! Ready for paint!

Step five: Outline all the countries and borders with black permanent marker. Be careful not to make mistakes! We had a little trouble with this part in the area around the former Soviet Union since the guide we were using was quite outdated and needed some new countries added. We had to improvise a bit on this part and not use the guide. Let’s just say it’s not perfect, but it gets the job done.

Step six: Paint the countries! The guide told us what color to paint each country, and we divided the work up among students. This required two coats of paint as well and involved a lot of paint drips on clothing and on each other. We bought primary colors and from those were able to mix other colors like purple, pink, and brown.

Painting countries, one by one

Our arms got a bit tired

Step seven: Use the light blue ocean color to paint over the pencil grid lines (they wouldn’t erase!)


Kristen and Me

Step eight: Re-draw all the borders with black permanent marker and write country and ocean names.

Step nine: Celebrate the map! We didn’t have time for this step since we finished just days before I will be leaving my community, but you could tell the kids felt accomplished and proud of what we had done. Even if they had just played a small role: painting a couple countries or helping paint the ocean, they felt part of the larger overall activity.

The younger children in elementary school loved to crowd around the map as we were writing the country names yelling out “Look! There’s China! It’s so big!” “Wow, Nicaragua is so small!” “I didn’t know that’s where South Africa was…” “Wait, Africa is a continent?” I can tell that many hours will be spent sitting in front of this map contemplating the various countries on it and giving these children a greater sense of their world and their place in it.

¨This map was made in 2010/11 with the Peace Corps volunteers Kristen O´Neil and Lilia Penny Gage with the fourth and fifth year students with funding from Steve and Amelia Gage.¨

On the top of the map we painted a Peace Corps symbol (“Cuerpo de Paz in Spanish”), and the Nicaraguan flag. On the bottom we wrote when the map had been made and by who, as well as noting my parents for their financial contributions which made it possible.

Kristen and I, very satisfied!

Good work kids!

I’m happy to be able to leave this map behind which will last long after the memory of my presence has faded.

What´s in a name?

Would a Penny by any other name be as sweet?

I guess it´s time to come clean and admit it.  I have a double identity.  In Nicaragua, I am not the same Penny that you may know and love (or not – hey, you may just like my blog).  For the past two years, I have carried out my life in another language and even used an alias.  I have denied parts of my personality and changed my mannerisms in order to fit in with the local culture.  In many ways, I lead a double life.  Now, as dramatic as this may sound, it’s not my first time doing this.  When I studied abroad in Spain, I experienced living in another culture for the first time, and I had to make myself understood (my personality, my nuances, my desires, etc.) in a new and foreign language.  I believe that everyone undergoes a bit of a personality change when they speak another language.  While Spanish is almost second-nature to me now, there will always be differences in what is expressed.  I have been less outgoing here, more hesitant, more willing to watch and wait rather than act first.  However, this has brought its own benefits, and by changing myself a little bit, I have learned more about Nicaragua and my own personality.

One part of my double identity however that took some time for me to get used to has been my alias – yes, I use a different name here in Peace Corps.  It wasn’t always this way – during training I tried to use “Penny,” but was met with difficulty.  It was hard for rural Nicaraguans to wrap their tongues around the foreign word – it always ended up vaguely sounding like the Spanish word pene, (pronounced pay-nay) which is their word for the male reproductive organ.  Yes, snicker all you want, I’m used to it.

I never had this same pronunciation problem in Spain – Spaniards were able to say my name just fine, often recalling the famous Beatles song “Penny Lane.”  I think that in comparison to Spaniards, Nicaraguans are less used to pronouncing foreign words and have little experience with English.  The Peace Corps language facilitators suggested that I choose a different name to go by during my service.  First we tried Penelope; it was also too hard for most to pronounce.  I considered going by “Katy” since my middle name is Kathleen, but there were too many Katies, Kats, and Catherines in Peace Corps and it would have been confusing.  I ended up choosing to use the Spanish name I had picked in high school Spanish class.  It’s a tradition in most high school language courses to choose a name to go by in class in that language.  I imagine teachers believed it helped students get into the feeling of being and speaking the language, immersing oneself into español  as much as possible in an American classroom.  Most kids picked funny names like Margarita or Nacho.  I had looked at the list of Spanish names in the back of our textbook and chosen the “L” name (one of my favorite letters) that I liked the best: Lilia. 

So, it was settled.  I would go by Lilia.  After four years of high school use in the classroom, I already automatically turned around whenever I heard someone say it and was used to writing it down.   Simple enough, right?  Nicaraguans should have no trouble with it.  Wrong.  Even this “Spanish” name was hard to pronounce – they wanted to turn it into “Lilian” or even “Liliam.”  Teaching people how to pronounce Lilia probably took me just as much time as it would have for them to learn how to say “Penny” correctly… but, at this point, a few weeks into my service with introductions already made; it was too late to turn back.  I was christened Lilia/Lilian/Liliam whether I liked it or not.

It took a while to get used to going by a different name – after a lifetime of being known as Penny/Pen/P-nut/Pizzle/Piz/and even Pennykins, it was like that was all a different world.  It made the process of integration into culture here and learning the local Spanish slang and way of speaking that much more intense and all-encompassing.  Sometimes I wouldn’t respond when someone would call “Lilia”, I often wrote my name down as Penny, confusing co-workers and messing up attendance lists.  My Peace Corps supervisors who had originally met me as Penny had to get used to calling me Lilia, at least when in the presence of my Nicaraguan counterparts.  It was like I had a completely different identity “in-site.”  I behaved differently (always muting my actions and personality at first to fit in and please others), I was without peers my age to be friends with, I was speaking a foreign language, and using a different name.  This must be what people in the Witness Protection Program go through a little bit, I remember thinking.

Whenever I left my site, or was talking with other volunteers, or even in my online Facebook life – I returned to being “Penny.”  It was like putting a favorite sweater on – it felt comfortable and familiar.  Lilia was still awkward and I was unsure who I wanted her to be.  I always felt like I wanted her to be the perfect Peace Corps volunteer: always be culturally sensitive, be liked by everyone, and avoid political frictions.  This was of course not possible as I learned later on in my service, and eventually accepted.

The other Peace Corps volunteer that lives in my site, Kristen, had trouble with the Lilia/Penny distinction.  She called me both names interchangeably, and we often confused others when we talked in the company of other Peace Corps volunteers.  “Who’s Lilia?” they would ask.  I will maintain a friendship with Kristen for my entire life – we have experience bonding under extreme conditions during the past two years.  I wonder if she’ll ever slip up in the future and call me “Lilia” by accident when we’re back in the U.S.

Many Peace Corps volunteers use the phrase, “Out of sight, out of mind” but change the word “sight” to “site” to describe the feeling they have when they leave their assigned Peace Corps community (or “site”) to come to the big city for a medical appointment, to go shopping or banking, or just to hang out with other volunteers and speak English.  They use this phrase because the minute you leave your village, part of you immediately forgets about your life in-site and your work.  It’s a stress mechanism I believe – our bodies are so exhausted mentally and physically in-site that whenever we leave, there is a little feeling of relief, of relaxation.  We are finally “off-duty” from our 24/7 lives as Peace Corps volunteers – we are out of the fishbowl (or at least in a larger fishbowl where we don’t stick out as much!)  Towards the beginning of my service, it was hard for me to leave site and leave “Lilia” behind – was it like that part of me didn’t exist anymore?  Will it still exist after I leave Nicaragua, or just in the minds of people who knew me as that person? 

After 26 months here, 23 of them being spent as “Lilia,” I can now go fluidly between the two names/identities.  I’m not sure where Penny ends and Lilia begins.  I’m not sure how much of Lilia I will bring back with me to the U.S. – how will Lilia have changed how Penny behaves?  Having an alias here has changed how I think about my experience – it wasn’t just two years living in another country, it was a completely different life I led here.  I’ve changed – going back home I won’t be the same person who left, but I won’t be the person that I was here in Nicaragua either.  I can just see a future Peace Corps volunteer coming to my town asking about that volunteer who was here 2009-2011, “Did you know Penny?” they might ask.  “Penny?” people will respond, “Never heard of her.  There was this one blonde girl named Lilia though…Let me tell you about her.”

My favorite Nica snack

In the multitude of corn-based foods made in the northern region of Nicaragua, where I live, my favorite by far is the rosquete (ros-ket-ay).  It is similar to its famous relative (often exported), the rosquilla which is like a Nicaraguan version of a Cheese-It.  I believe rosquetes are superior however because they contain no cheese and have a wonderful crispy taste, similar to a Swedish gingersnap.  They are coffee’s perfect  acompañante. 

Every little pulperia (store) in my town that sells rosquetes knows that they are my favorite snack.  When I enter the store they automatically tell me if they have rosquetes or not, the former being said with a large smile “They’re your favorite, right?” and the latter being said with a sympathetic downcast look. 

I had wanted to make rosquetes since the beginning of my service, but finding someone who bakes them on a regular basis has proved quite difficult.  There are always rumors of who is making them, on what day of the week, and where they live… Well, this past week I finally was able to find the infamous (and elusive) Doña Chana who has been making rosquetes for decades out of her home with her children and grandchildren.  I stopped by late morning and they already had the dough ready and were rolling out the doughnut shaped rosquetes, pressing the distinctive design into each one using a cheese grater (so that’s how they do it!)  The dough contains ground corn, sugar, vegetable shortening,baking soda, and a bit of salt.  They had woken up at 3:30 AM to start preparing the dough and were rolling out rosquetes until about noon, making over 1,000!  Doña Chana let me make a pan of my own rosquetes, and needless to say they weren’t as perfectly formed as hers or her daughter’s were, but they ended up tasting the same!

Doña Chana (right) and her daughter rolling out cookies

Making the circular forms, then using the cheese grater to make the design

Ready for the oven! The pan in the foreground is the one that I made (they look a little irregular compared to the others :)

In the afternoon, they fire up the large dome-shaped brick oven in her backyard – filling it with firewood and lighting it, letting it heat up to a high temperature.  Then they take out the wood, leaving the space inside hot enough to bake rosquetes to a nice, signature toasted crisp.

Lighting the wood to heat the oven

Removing from the oven

Nice and toasted!

As we talked about my impending departure in April, Doña Chana seemed appalled that soon I would be back in the U.S. where she had heard that Nicaraguan staples like yucca root was apparently $5/lb. (here it is less than $1), and where there would be no rosquetes available!  She promised to mail me some, but I doubt they would taste the same after two weeks in-transit to Alaska.  She did give me a simple recipe, and if I can find some good corn, I may be able to make some.  Here is Doña Chana’s recipe for a small batch of rosquetes:  5-6 pounds of corn (cooked then ground), 1 pound of vegetable shortening, 1-2 pounds of sugar, 2-3 tablespoons of baking soda, and a pinch of salt.  Mix all ingredients and form into rounds (use a cheese grater to stamp the top if you want), place on ungreased baking sheet and bake for 20 minutes.  I can’t wait to try it out back home – probably won’t taste the same coming from a gas oven rather than a woodstove though.

Ready to eat!

DJ Tiesto Concert

I just checked off another thing on my "bucket list" of things to do before I "kick the bucket."  Last night, I was lucky enough to see one of my favorite musical artists in concert, in Managua, Nicaragua nonetheless.  Now, this wouldn't be so surprising until you hear who he is - no, it's not Pitbull, Daddy Yankee, or even Shakira - it was DJ Tiesto, yes, in Nicaragua.  When I found out, I had to check out literally three websites and make a few calls to make sure he was really coming and it wasn't some sort of weird joke.  DJ Tiesto is a Dutch DJ and is one of the most popular DJs in the world, spinning dance/trance/techno/house music until the wee hours in places like Ibiza, Europe, the U.S. and Asia - but he had never before been to Nicaragua.  I was doubtful that Nicaragua would be able to generate the fan base to fill up the concert stadium, but not to worry - the concert was amazing and it was completely sold out.  DJ Tiesto wrote on Twitter that people from Central America "have so much beat in their blood!"

I went with a few friends from Managua and a couple other Peace Corps volunteers.  When he came onstage, the crowd went crazy.  Even one of my supervisors from Peace Corps was there!  We had an amazing night at the outdoor venue enjoying Tiesto's "Kaleidoscope World Tour" until I literally couldn't dance anymore.  I woke up with swollen feet and will probably lose a toenail due to repeatedly being jumped on and stepped on by fellow concert goers. (No hard feelings though, guys!)  I was annoyed that at the entrance, our glowsticks were confiscated with no explanation... I did sneak in some bubbles however.

 

My college rommate Lexi and I are diehard Tiesto fans and I have fond memories of us senior year at UAF dancing around in our room together with the volume at full blast.  She has been to two previous Tiesto concerts in New York City, and I have long been waiting for my own chance.  Of course, I called her from the concert on my cell phone so she could at least hear him in the background, as she had done for me in NYC.

Below are a few videos and pictures I took that night.  What an amazing way to finish up my time in Nicaragua - such a coincidence!  Just over a month left in Nicaragua, and I'm going out on a sweet note...

My friend Amy and I pre-concert in our amazing Nica jeans

Kat (a fellow Peace Corps volunteer) and I

Loved this guy's shirt - Dutch colors!

There were some painted fake cows at the entrace that said "Holland" "Tiesto" and had tulips painted on them - a mix of Nicaraguan and Dutch culture perhaps?

I was all over the place dancing, and so was my hair...